Kind of a perfect day.

Tessa has this thing on her nose. We're still not 100% sure what it is, even after a doctor's visit. This kid. Her hives nearly made me lose my mind. (This is not a hive) . . . but - after I returned to work - the first full day I worked, I came home and hugged her and she blew up with hives. Just all over. We've deduced that she is allergic to the roach droppings that were plaguing my room. So Judy got me some helpers, and my entire classroom closet went in the trash. The WHOLE thing. Paintings I made in Italy, sentimental art I made in college, tons of art supplies, just so much stuff. And it was kind of nice to purge, in a way, but it was sad, too. I just did not have the time to sort through it with an infant at home, and I really didn't feel safe or confident doing it. And it had to go soon. So it's gone. And I have a newly floored, painted, organized, pared-down closet, and no roaches or their poop.
SO anyway, her nose. She has this patch on it that appeared on Monday and it's just weird. I was scared it was staph. It's not. Possibly a reaction to latex, when she had her 3 year appointment on Friday. Which was  really a huge nightmare, she went NUTS with the blood draw, poor angel. So I took her to the pediatric dermatologist today. Took a half day and grabbed her for the appointment. They have a HUGE fish tank. She was convinced that our purpose of being there was to see the fishes. And all the pictures of doggies in the exam room. Just a little, sweet chatterbox about all of it the whole time.
Afterward, we went to Mimi's and grabbed her for an ice cream. Tessa was so sweet and polite, she got her favorite pink ice cream in a big cone with sprinkles. The 3 of us went to the park and ate the ice cream, sitting in the grass under a big tree. A drippy mess, a little hot, totally wonderful, still. Went back to Mimi's for a bit and then headed home.
Finn was so good - slept so LONG last night, 10 hours total - quite frankly, my boobs were like basketballs this morning. Gross basketballs. He is just always so smiley. So tonight was no exception. I used to say that I swore babies could see angels, the way they just smile and laugh at seemingly nothing visible to us. Today marked 9 years of Granny being gone. I swore she paid him a little visit today - on his 2 month birthday!
Andy cooked a great dinner tonight. While he was working on it, I went for a run. I considered it the closing ceremonies on this pregnancy, which is a big deal to me. It's been over a year, with the miscarriage last summer and all. I haven't run in seemingly forever. I've gained . . . let's see. 10lbs between college and marriage, 5 lbs between marriage and getting pregnant, 5 lbs after having Tess, and 10 lbs with this pregnancy! Something like that. So I went for this monumental run, in the 90-something heat, still - and loved it. Trees and trails. Just like I remembered them! I think you don't really live somewhere until you know the terrain by foot. I felt horrible. My legs hurt and I was running so hard I was drooling on myself. And you know that joke about Dolly Parton and the black eyes? I was afraid of that. Just not pretty. I did the first mile in 8:10. Which was not by virtue of my body, technically, I really can't run that fast. Sometimes we question where Tessa gets her incredibly strong will . . . I am really proud of my ability to mind-over-matter when the situation demands it. After that mile I gave myself a break and walked the second mile home. In the end, I'm excited to realize I can still do it. And that just sacrificing 15 minutes, I was able to cover 2 miles of ground. I like to imagine that over time, I will progress from the type of runner people passing in cars behold with pity to become instead a force-with-which-to-reckon. I have been that before, and I can surely be it again.
Taylor was supposed to come out tonight and he got stuck at work. We told this to Tessa and she got all wide-eyed and shrieked "Quick! We have to run! We have to save Taylor!" I wonder what she was envisioning? Clearly she saw him quite physically stuck in something.
At dinner (which Andy so lovingly prepared), she said a prayer. Something about baby Finn not falling off the couch (this is a regular request in prayers, we have no idea of its origins) and "please help Mommy make lots of boobie milk." I'm so thankful my toddler upholds my lactation in prayer.
She fell asleep nearly mid-sentence . . . in her high chair, a fork loaded-up with meat, in her hand. Literally, we turned our heads to see Finn after she  said something, and turned back and she was out. It was so pathetic. She missed her nap today and was so tired. So she went to bed early, Andy carried her in like a little sack of potatoes. After dinner, it started to storm and Andy brewed some decaf. We turned off all the lights and opened the kitchen windows and sat in the quiet, sipping coffee, nursing Finn, snuggling, watching the display in the sky. Listening to our favorite music, until somehow "the Wheels on the Bus" somehow snuck itself into our playlist and completely destroyed the calm vibe we had going on. Of course, making us laugh hysterically.
I just don't know if days can even get any more charming. I couldn't ask for more -
:)

Why am I here?

I don't really have time to be here right now, but I just wanted to whine about going back to work tomorrow. I have a stack of paperwork to sort through. Which probably sounds like I'm a disaster. The fact is, I'm really NOT a disaster at home. My home is kind of like scary impeccable most of the time, because I'm nuts about it. Don't get me wrong, it GETS messy, but I am perpetually tidying. I'm more of a tidy-er than a clean-er. I do like things sterile, too. You know I'm a germophobe! Lol! Anyone who knows me at all surely knows that bit about me. I just don't like disorganization. And it's hard to be organized in the small spaces we live in, on a small budget . . .
Anyway. I go back to work tomorrow. And I'm sad for all the things I didn't get to do in the summer and on my leave. You think it's SO much time to do things, but it's so busy. I thought I would do so much more. Besides that, I'm just grieved to be away from my babies. If anyone in the world was made to be a stay at home mom, it's me. Some girls get bored at home. I thrive. It's the greatest.
So anyway. Back to it. I Love LOVE teaching, I love the little kiddos, I love being in an art room, it's fantastic. But I'd rather be home.
So I'm sad.
:(
What a blessed problem though, to have two gorgeous children with whom I'm so desperately in love - to miss and miss and miss while I'm away at a great job.
I can't really complain.
But I still do!